Alma 41:14-15

Many years ago I attended Woods Cross High School while living in the city of Bountiful, Utah. As is quite typical for most teenagers, I had many great high school friends together with a few acquaintances who (at least from my then-teenage point of view) rightly earned the title of enemies. When the day of graduation came in the spring of 2011, one of the most relieving aspects of that day was being able to know that I would never see these enemies of mine again. Their offensive presence in my life was finally coming to an end.

After attending my first semester at the University of Utah (the U) as an undergraduate student I served two years as a missionary in New York, returning in December 2013. Upon the completion of this full-time mission, having been taught many life-changing lessons by the Lord, I resumed my education in mathematics and physics at the U. Some of these important lessons (detailed in other blog posts linked here) include the importance of trusting in God's will, optimism, and seeing things from other's point of view . One day, while walking from the LDS Institute building and President's Circle on campus, I saw far in the distance someone who looked vaguely familiar walking towards me. To my not-so-pleasant surprise, one of my high school enemies whom I thought I would never come in contact with again was approaching. While the time span of nearly three years had certainly weakened my feelings of animosity towards him, it was by no means gone.

What was I to do? Reasoning that the best outcome would be to just try and avoid any possible confrontation, I successfully walked by as if I had never noticed him. But beginning that very moment, and lasting for the rest of the day, I felt something stirring within my heart and mind. It was the same feeling I had felt many times in the past when there was an significant change that God desired me to make. The next morning, while personally studying The Book of Mormon, I read a passage of a prophet Alma teaching his son Corianton:

"Therefore, my son, see that you are merciful unto your brethren; deal justly, judge righteously, and do good continually; and if ye do all these things then shall ye receive your reward; yea, ye shall have mercy restored unto you again; ye shall have justice restored unto you again; ye shall have a righteous judgement restored unto you again; and ye shall have good rewarded unto you again. For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored ..."       ~ Alma 41:14-15

While pondering deeply upon this passage of scripture, which seemed indistinguishable from the voice of God to me, I realized that the innumerable mistakes and shortcomings of my past meant that there was nothing more that I needed in the day of judgement than forgiveness and mercy. Furthermore, if I desired to have forgiveness restored unto me again, I needed to send out forgiveness. This of course was perfectly in line with the Savior's teachings in the Sermon on The Mount that in the end it is the merciful who will obtain mercy (Matthew 5:7), and his counsel to forgive as oft as seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22).

At that point it was obvious that, rather than continually trying to justify my internal grudges, I needed to forgive the man who I previously considered an enemy. After all, I knew of many instances from my past where he and others were likely offended by my words and actions. I concluded to forgive.

But the Lord wanted to put this conclusion to the ultimate test, as I soon found out. Due to the common class schedule that each student had at the U, and therefore a common path from class to class, it was no more than 2 days later that I again saw my high school acquaintance approaching in the distance. With a complex stir of thoughts and feelings, I concluded to approach him and say hi. As I did so with a smile, I pretended as if I had no recollection of anything that happened in those high school days. Talking as if we had been the best of friends back in the days was all I could think to do. Thankfully, this worked out to be successful! Our short conversation of being reunited ended on a positive note.

But even though I afterwards had a feeling of relief as if it was all done, this was only the first of many tests. Nearly twice every week for the rest of that semester, we continued to see each other on the same sidewalk. And he later became my hometeacher! Through this, I came to see that he really did have so much good inside of him that was initially clouded by a couple mistakes that I was overly focused on. In fact, the many instances that were the essential foundations of my grudge are now unrecallable! Even if I try to remember our negative high school encounters, I am unable to. Rather I "remember them no more" (D&C 58:42).

I came to learn that true forgiveness frees us up to see others in their true light, focusing on their good actions. By no means does it mean condoning unrighteous behavior. But it does mean not letting the occasional shortcomings of individuals distract from their true identity as a child of God with so much potential and worth. How grateful I am that the Lord taught me, through the scriptures and personal experience, about the value and importance of forgiving.