Alma 32:21, 26

From the earliest of years, I have had a deep interest in mathematics and astronomy. Although I have a very limited memory of my life before the age of 12, I believe that my math interest originated in elementary school. My best assumption is that this was at least in part brought about by some internal frustration with some problems on assignments in other subjects getting marked wrong without any explanation of why they were wrong. For example, some teachers would simply mark an answer of mine to a question on a reading assignment wrong without any reason of why it was incorrect. Other times they would provide an explanation, but not one that was convincing enough of why their personal interpretation was right instead of mine. On math assignments, however, there was always a way to show why my answer was wrong and why the correct answer was truly the only one. This aspect of mathematics where everything is provable and completely void of opinion was, and has remained to this day, the main feature that attracted my interest and which practically no other field of study can offer.

My interest in astronomy also originated in elementary school. When our class would go to the library, I would always avoid the fiction side and stick with the non-fiction books. The ones with the most stunning images for me were the astronomy books. I must have checked out each of the astronomy books at least 3 times, and never once checked out a fictional book. Over the years my interest in astronomy grew as I learned more about the planets, stars, galaxies, black holes, eclipses, and more. The concepts of what truly was out in space and how it all worked attracted me in many ways.



As a result of these scientific interests that have only grown stronger and deeper over the years, many people - family, friends, mere acquaintances, and complete strangers - have expressed very deep and sincere concern for me. While I do not recall the first time this took place, I am quite certain that it was along the same lines as each proceeding time. Warning me that scientific fields almost always lead to a diminished belief in deity, they urged me to try and adjust my interests. Of course, it wasn't difficult to understand where this concern came from, and why it was worth mentioning to me. Perhaps the very feature of mathematics that attracted my interest - an answer is considered right or wrong, true or false, when unequivocally proven without exception to be so - could eventually eliminate the ability to accept eternal truths that often come without proof. Perhaps learning how everything in the cosmos worked would lead me to believe that it was all nothing more than the consequence of a Big Bang, followed by mere physics, rather than the work and power of a divine being.

While I reassured each concerned individual that I would not fall into such a trap, it nevertheless remained a possibility for my future that these scientific interests could drown out religion. Fortunately, at an early age (the particulars of when I do not remember exactly) I was also taught the importance of a scripture from The Book of Mormon:

"And now as I said concerning faith - faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true. Now, as I said concerning faith - that it was not a perfect knowledge - even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge."    ~ Alma 32:21,26

Over the years this prophetic counsel has reminded me countless times that truths which matter most often require us to believe without proof or explanation. Expecting to gain, or believing that we already have, a perfect knowledge about everything isn't a good approach to life. The reminder to never lose faith in God has been invaluable every time I learn a new mathematical theorem or law of physics.

Interestingly enough, though, this scripture not only helped me retain my belief in God throughout high school, college as an undergraduate in mathematics and physics, research on the chemical composition of stars as an undergraduate, and as a Ph.D. student in statistics and data science at Yale University. It also began to reveal its truthfulness inside these very fields as well! I came to learn that it was unrealistic to expect a perfect knowledge of math or astronomy. Some mathematical theorems have a proof that would take way too long to go over, enough so that it's better to just trust the work of more experienced mathematicians. Some differential equations can't be solved with currently known mathematical methods. Some real life situations are far too complex to be modeled by even the most advanced physics currently understood. And sometimes what was once thought to be an absolute law of physics gets disproved.

A saying, that has only recently become common throughout the world, now rings so true to me as a result of my mathematical and astronomical education combined with the truthfulness of faith taught in Alma: "The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know" (Albert Einstein). And now, contrary to what many once hypothesized, my learning of mathematics, physics, and astronomy has strengthened, rather than weakened, my trust and reliance in God. I have come to know from both a spiritual and scientific perspective that my knowledge is indeed extremely finite, echoing the need for faith and trust in the divine being with perfect and infinite knowledge.

Had I not learned from the scriptures at an early age about the importance of faith, would my belief in God been demolished? I don't know. But at least I can look back and know that it protected me from a possible life route that would certainly be extremely difficult to reverse.